Monday, August 13, 2007

lets be honest....

it's been awhile since i've blogged and i think that's ok because NOBODY reads my blog but me. It's my own journal and i want to get back into it. It's been a few months since i've written and so much has happend in that space of time. I'm now 29, Married, no longer friends with Liz (why, i'm still not sure) and I've traveled to Italy with my husband. But let's just start with today.
I feel sad. I don't know why in reality but I think it has something to do with spending too much time at work and away from my family. There's so much pettiness around me and it's so exhausting being everyone's go to gal. I am not slammed busy but I feel like a hostess all day as i'm tired of it. I just want to chill for a bit. or I just want to be slammed busy solving my own problems. I'm sure everyone out there has similar issues. We're all just earning that paycheck, trading time for money but I want to be more, have more. Especially freedom and time. I want to go explore new places and see old people. My grandma's not doing so great and I want to go be with her and my mom. Not looking at the time count down till returning to work.
Also, i'm dying to go to my dads and relax on the Island. Get my feet and hands all dirty in the garden and cook great big dinners with the family. Drink too much wine and watch good movies snuggled up to the siblings.
All this includes family but i'd love love love to get away with my new husband and go explore somewhere like Austin. Drinking in the different people and foods. Listening to new stories and talking to new people whom I didn't know i'd ever meet.
In reality, i've used up all of my vacation time FOR THE YEAR. I feel like i'm holding back a good cry. On the brink of tears although I'm really mostly happy but there's just these fews things missing that are bringing me down. this blog is fully unfinished but my work is calling my name and i just needed to get this down. so boo

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