Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Before Chadd

I briefly went to christian church when I was in high school. I liked the sense of community, the songs and mostly the boys. Well boy actually. Jesse was the first guy I ever really fell for and I hate to sound shallow but he was just so pretty (he was also on house arrest for stealing a car). He sorta broke my heart after 6 months of dating. If you asked him, I'm sure the split had to do with the fact that I wouldn't sleep with him. As for what I'm now attracted too, I've kept the pretty part but upgraded bad boy for nice boy and have semi learned my lesson in the 10-ish years since then which I now refer to as the BC years. This had nothing to do with church days or what jesus would do but everything to do with Chadd. BC = Before Chadd. Before I knew what I really wanted or rather before Chadd showed me.
There were a two others in the BC years. There was the mostly good guy who was just not the right guy for me and then there was the asshole. Say it with me ladies, ASSHOLE. We've all had one. One we thought we could fix. Make nice. But you can't and it's a good thing because who wants to be a school teacher/detective all their live long days just to prove to themselves that THEY could do it. I'm so glad over that one quick!
I've learned in these last two and a half blissful years of AC what a good relationship should be. It should be Chaigha. Chadd + Leigha = Chaigha. That explains everything to me. from the time we met it was real. He played with my hair while I lay on his lap watching movies. This was before we ever touched lips but it was just as intimate if not more because it wasn't driven by blood flow. It was sweet and honest and safe. When Chadd and I met I needed safe and slow. He became everything to me, Still is. I love him from my core so much that we truly become Chaigha. To us, it's a state of mind. It's forming a life together and living it with eachother in mind, always. It means Chadd wearing an engagement ring as well by his own choice because he too wants everyone to know he's fianced as well as I. He loves my family and I his. It's all one family now.
And the best thing is that the BC's no longer matter because I have everything in a mate that I always wanted NOW. At at 28 I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

1 comment:

Mr. Bass said...

Wouldn't AC imply life AFTER Chadd? Maybe DC, during Chadd would be more appropriate.

Anyway, glad to see your blogging.